Dugaan hidop itu sentiasa ada.

at first, i think its never too late for me to wish all muslims happy eid mubarak. May our life full of joys, hapiness and blessing from The Creator.
For about a few weeks i havent posting of any entry to my blog (although i knew no one read mine) but for me it okay,cause writing here is just like a mind and psychology therapy for myself. as long as im not writing many things happened on me.my family.
1st important thing, bak's gone for forever. my grandfather on my mother side. the day he passed away was a very fascinated day and time. at the end of fasting day which is tommorow we are getting to celebrate a glorious eid mubarak 1413 H at 7pm. never thought that the day was the last day i checked his blood. i saw him during the momment of Sakaratul maut. how powerful the creation of our creator! alhamdulillah at the morning of eid mubarak bak's was buried at our nerest funeral grave.
as i writing today,this time my mom and their siblings are busy preparing for the last day of '7 hari tahlil untuk arwah'. bak's memories still in my mind. told the villagers, bak's had given so many contribute for our kampung.yup, that was my bak.memories of tok mudin, zapin,silat,cikgu ripin and pengakap high committee member still in mind of peoples who knowing him. BAK. he's a well-known among many people. there is a note,valuable note my dad found in a pocket of bak's scout uniform. it sounds:

"Banyak org banyak ragam,dan kite pun ada juga ragam..0leh itu,,jgn sekali-kali kita mengata org atau keji-mengeji org dan carilah jln untuk menyedarkn diri kite..hati jd suci dan tenang.."

all is right.. hopefully bak was placed among of religious people. AMIN. AL-FATIHAH.

at this time im writing this words, i'm at Hospital Uni Sains Malaysia. it just like take turn. my grandmother of abah side not in well condition. heart attack. just hook in one words faranisa! setiap manusia diuji untuk melihat sebanyak mana nilai kesabarannya. yup, i'm grab it all. 

and yesterday..
i met an old friends of mine since i was studying at mrsm kuala krai. surprisingly, everybody changed. all become more beauty with make up:eye liner, blusher,eye shadow,lipstic etc. is a must in everybody face. all became nice.everyone talking bout partners, while couples sharing foods and drinks.
i'm looking and thinking; time comes and go.clock ticking every second and friends who sharing quality time being a girl so many years ago,are now being a teenage.and me... im not the same at their ages. im a woman. im cried. stroried that situation to my father just now. i'm telling him.. 'ya pun xthu tu kelebihan ko kekurangan...'with tears drop from my eyes. dont know.


feel likes im facing this all alone.